The Making at the Heart of the World
by Saarkind
Summary: Nikolai Lantsov would go to any length to expel the dark monster from his body. His biggest asset is Zoya Nazyalensky, the Grisha magician, whose power is constantly growing. Can Nikolai trust her? To assure himself of her support, Nikolai visits the young Grisha in the Darkling's old chambers. But before he knows, a door opens that he did not expect... [After "King of Scars"]
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello all,**_

_**this three chapter mini-fic is my second attempt at Grishaverse fanfiction. The story takes place after the end of King of Scars (Spoiler alert!).**_

_**Any kind of feedback is highly appreciated. Enjoy the read.**_

**Cheers**

**Saarkind**

* * *

**The Making at the Heart of the World**

Doubt was as annoying as a mosquito bite: If you gave it too much attention, it started to itch like crazy, so you better ignored it.

King Nikolai Lantsov of Ravka was familiar with both. He had made ample acquaintance with mosquitos during his military service, doubt accompanied him since his illegitimate birth. Instead of letting himself be controlled by his doubts, he used them to push forward. The stronger they grew, the greater his efforts to dispel them. Or how his bodyguards, the Heartrender twins Tolya and Tamar, would say: 'What doesn't tear off your head makes you wiser and stronger.'

Unfortunately, since the day the Darkling returned, Nikolai found himself out of answers to the colossal doubt that plagued him. At least the Darkling's return was not common knowledge from the capital city of Os Alta in the east to the True Sea in the west but once word was out Ravka would be in turmoil. It was bad enough that the most trusted members of his council were on high alert. Genya Safin, the Tailor, had not left her accommodations since the Darkling's first appearance. Her partner David, the ingenious Fabrikator, fabricated explosion after explosion in his laboratories. And Tolya and Tamar basically quartered themselves in the balancing act of guarding Nikolai and the members of the Grisha triumvirate twenty-four hours a day while still keeping a watchful eye on the Darkling.

So, what about Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai's sharp-tongued general and soul-mirror deluxe, the person he owed his life more often than anyone else? She shunned him, avoided him, followed her own agenda.

Not that Nikolai blamed her. Like all of Ravka, Zoya had encountered pain and suffering during the Darkling's reign. Unlike everybody else, she had actually played her part in his ill-fated attempt to exorcise the dark monster from his body – an undertaking whose foul harvest had been the Darkling's return. However, Zoya did not know that the expulsion had not yielded the aimed for result. The spawn of Nikolai's worst nightmare, when he had been more a winged monster than a human being, still resided in his body. Weakened but lurking, feeding on his worries and fears day after day.

To make matters worse, Nikolai had to prepare a wedding. Not just any, but his own. On top of that, he was not going to marry a woman who loved him. That would have been too easy. No, Ehri Kir-Taban, second-born princess of an enemy nation, hated him for pressing her into wedlock. Nikolai almost had to laugh. As long as he could recall the romantic side of him had resisted any marriage of convenience. He had even recently claimed to Zoya that he would never agree to a marriage founded on a lie. And now that he had made up his mind for the sake of Ravka, he had caught himself a wife who was by no means enthusiastic about the plan. Quite an accomplishment.

Disgusted by his situation, Nikolai ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the ceiling. A miracle would come in pretty handy right now.

Eventually, he reminded himself of his responsibility as ruler of a broken country surrounded by enemies. He stretched and straightened the sleeves of his king's jacket. With all these odds, this was not a time for brooding but for action. And to get started he had to set priorities: He needed to talk to Zoya, he needed the support of his most competent commander.

His eyes fell on countless documents on his desk. The last time he had sat there with Zoya, brooding over plans and drafting decrees, had been before they had left for Kribirsk. Since their return, he had to get along without her assistance. Oh, he was fine on his own, but the way they complemented each other had turned hours of tedious state affairs into recreational sessions. He could see her sitting there in her richly embroidered sapphire-coloured silk _kefta_, surrounded by a cloud of black hair, intensively studying some document. From time to time she would frown, followed by a brief flick of her hand, resulting in some sheets of paper floating towards him on the wings of her Grisha craft. He would look up and face a roguish grin beneath sparkling eyes.

Nikolai blinked. _That's not exactly the picture to be conjured by a responsible ruler at the prospect of a long day's work._ He shook off any hint of melancholy and left the study on a hurry. As soon as he stepped outside the door, Tolya, his towering bodyguard, appeared beside him.

Nikolai rubbed his eyes to clear his head and asked, "Any news on the Darkling?"

"He's hanging around in his new chambers, keeping himself buys with... reading."

Nikolai paused. "He's reading?" He quickly composed himself. "Hopefully no essays on the wedding ceremonies of the Shu dynasties."

The Heartrender grimaced. "No, your Highness. He has had copies of all decrees announced since the start of your reign."

"I see. Law-abiding is a trait I value." Not that Nikolai expected the Darkling to adhere to law. The Starless One happened to be well versed in the business of making his own laws. "Well, in that case we better brace ourselves as he will use the new laws against us in some form. This should turn out quite entertaining."

"I'd rather entertain that snake with my sword in my hand..."

"Do me a favour and stick to 'The Darkling'", Nikolai objected. "We shouldn't make our old friend taller than he feels by calling him names."

"If you think so, King Nikolai."

Tolya's sarcasm stung. A change of topic was due. "Is Tamar around him?"

"Yes, accompanied by the honor guard." It was obvious that Tolya worried about his sister.

"You should concentrate on our guest of honor, so you can take turns. Are the two of you actually getting some sleep?"

"Who would sleep when the Darkling is around striking terror into Ravka's hearts...?"

Nikolai sighed. The twins were as stubborn as the new tank vehicles he had under development at the secret research facility a few miles east of Os Alta. "Well," he said. "Before you run on your last legs, I hereby command you to solely focus on the Darkling. Relay this to your sister, would you?"

"But..."

With a brusque wave of his hand, Nikolai interrupted the tall Heartrender. "I can defend myself quite well, Tolya. And if the senior commanders of the Second Army cannot hold their own, I should start reconsidering the composition of my government."

"You still should not roam the palace without an escort," Tolya insisted, folding his strong arms across his chest. "The Shu..."

"The Shu already got their dance. I doubt they'll make another attempt to eliminate the future spouse of their people's favorite princess in the near future."

"The rumors coming out of Fjerda..."

"Are just that – as long as that Lantsov wannabe doesn't put a foot on Ravkan soil. Besides, we only have to worry if he oozes more charm than I do. That, however, is doubtful." Nikolai flashed a challenge at his bodyguard.

Tolya grumbled. "I still do not like this."

"None of us likes any of this, especially the presence of the Darkling. But he's back – and I'm not letting a danger far off dictate my actions. Because if I did, the problems of today could come crashing down on our heads as soon as tomorrow." Nikolai gave Tolya a sharp look. "That's why I'm going to pursue state business on my own while you join your sister."

"As you wish, King Nikolai."

Tolya saluted and hurried off. Nikolai briefly followed him with his eyes. He had survived many a hopeless situation in the company of the twins, but he had never seen the towering man that tense. _That only means I must not waver._ But if every soul in his neighborhood was about to crumble, who should he lean on?

He hoped to find some answers in the Darkling's former chambers.

**_(to be continued)_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hello all,**_

_**this is the second chapter of my mini-fanfic "The Making at the Heart of the World", in which Nikolai finally confronts Zoya.**_

_**Enjoy reading.**_

**Cheers**

**Saarkind**

* * *

Without further delay, Nikolai took off. Determinedly, he strode through corridors and junctions of the Grand Palace, continuously meeting people who paid homage to him. Nikolai would have liked to have some time for his subjects, talking and listening to them, assuring them that the crown on his head did not mean he had forgotten the hardships and issues of the common folk. But he could not afford to lose his focus, because if he was honest with himself, he was afraid to lose his courage as soon as he allowed himself to be distracted.

Finally, he reached the door to the chambers that the Darkling had resided in for half an eternity. Now these chambers were the refuge of a woman way younger, a Grisha who once had dedicated her craft to the Starless One. Was that why she had moved into these rooms? Nikolai hesitated. What awaited him behind this door? What did he have to prepare for?

_What, if Zoya shuts me out?_

Some part of him felt like turning and running, similar to the early days after the demon within had taken possession from him, when he had wanted to run instead of fighting it. Instantly, he sensed the dark splinter stirring. It fed off his fears – even if the latter lacked justification. Nikolai clenched his fist and took a deep breath. The next moment a sharp gust of wind swept by, the door swung open and a voice shouted:

"Come in, Nikolai."

The sound of the familiar voice made Nikolai's heart jump. It was a strange sensation, somewhere between relief, anxiety and delight. A little bit of everything, with a kind of delight prevailing as if he had retrieved something held very dear. Irritated, Nikolai stopped dead on his track. _Such an absurd notion,_ he chided himself. _Before long, I will marry, whereas Zoya will devote her power and her strength of purpose on the task of stopping the Darkling, the threat of _jurda parem_ and our enemies from abroad._ Cursing the lure of ill-timed dreams, he crossed the doorsill and closed the door.

At first, he thought he had made a mistake in the door. He did not recognize the chambers at all!

After Zoya had claimed the Darkling's old chambers, she had spared no expense or effort to fashion the rooms to her liking. Most prominent were the clouded sky covering the domed roof and the stormy sea decorating the side walls of the living room. All other features were plain though exquisitely crafted. Now the room was bursting at the seams from tables and sideboards full of water bowls, cast-iron kettles and pans. In one corner, a heated brazier was steaming away. The air smelled like ash and Alkemi ingredients.

He discovered the beautiful Squaller standing behind a large workbench that contained a considerable number of strange objects and sculptures made of the most bizarre of materials, as well as pots and pans of alien substances. She wore the familiar _kefta_, but had her hair tightly braided, thus underlining her usual aura of distance. Only a midnight black strand of hair, which had escaped from the braid, fought the flawless appearance. It failed. Zoya could have stepped out of a mud hole and still remain in the centre of the most daring dreams of men from Ravka to Novyi Zem.

However, Nikolai had not come here to admire what was beyond possibility.

"I see you have not been idle," he began in an amused tone. "I really appreciate your worry about public finances, but do you seriously expect to save them by opening a junk shop?"

Barely noticeably, Zoya raised her head. The hint of a smile flickered over captivating lips, but disappeared quickly behind a frosty look. "I'm sorry to disappoint your Highness. I'm trying to make a wedding present for the future Queen of Ravka."

"If you intend to scare her, you're right on track."

"Isn't that what I'm known for? Scaring people away?"

"That's what you're trying to do, Nazyalensky ... But given all the guys who perform headstands just to grab your attention, I'd say you fail miserably."

"You're wrong there, Nikolai." The smile on her face was deliberate and provocative. "I make sure not to be _too_ scary ... so that every now and then I meet a guy who I can crush under my feet and leave heart-broken."

_You'd never be able to break my heart,_ Nikolai thought instantly. Not to leave any room for such thought, he commented dryly: "Your mood is splendid."

"I'm still undecided."

The thoughtful tone woke his attention. He followed her gaze, which floated over the objects on the workbench. Curious, Nikolai stepped closer. The objects, especially the human-like sculptures, looked as if a potter's kid had first tried his father's craftmanship. But the structures seemed very solid and substantially error-free. Carefully, he picked up an antler-like ivory form whose pale hue suddenly reminded him of Zoya's former magic amplifier from tiger tooth.

"This is Materialki art," Nikolai stated.

Zoya nodded slightly without looking up. "You might think so, right?"

"Did _you_ do all this?" asked he. His jacket collar suddenly felt somewhat tight.

"Yes."

"How is that possible? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not Grisha-craft from your order. Or did Sankt Juris have a hand in this?" His gaze fell on the twin scale bracelets on her wrists, which she wore in place of her shattered amplifier since their adventure in the Shadow Fold.

"Of course," Zoya said clearly. Slowly she looked up. "Does this surprise you?"

"Does it matter?" he countered. "Anyway, I now understand why Elizaveta got impaled by her own thorns. _You_ turned them against her. And there I thought my charm had blinded her so that she erred in her aim."

Zoya rolled her eyes. "Nikolai," she said emphatically. "I'm afraid you underestimate the implications of this discovery. These items mean that we need to rethink the common rules of Grisha magic. The definition of our orders is not a support but a limitation." She pushed the strand behind her ear. "Juris was right, there's so much we do not know, so little we understand. And the possibilities ..."

"The Darkling apparently discovered these possibilities a long time ago," he interjected.

"Yes, that's right." For a brief moment, Zoya's shoulders seemed to collapse, but before Nikolai had to cheer her up, the young Grisha straightened her back and defiantly lifted her chin. Her eyes sparkled, wondrously bright, like blue jewels. "However, he made a mistake and chose an easier path."

"_Merzost_," Nikolai stated as a matter of fact. "Corrupted magic." He knew this term from the days he had fought the Darkling beside Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner. "Should I be worried?" He refrained from specifying the centre of his concerns.

"No!" Zoya firmly shook her head as if he had asked her to dance with a drunken stableboy. "Rest assured, however, that even without _merzost_, I will not make it easy for the Darkling to unfold his power to its former magnitude." The glow in her eyes hardened until her eyelids suddenly twitched and her pupils changed into reptile-like slits for the fraction of a second. At the same time, Zoya's left hand slid over the scaly bracelet on her right.

Nikolai pressed his jaw together. He had seen this specific reaction before. "At what cost?"

Zoya took a deep breath. "Do not pretend you have not guessed it yet. Sankt Juris, the Dragon and me, we have become one, powerful and inseparable."

"That says nothing about the final price," he insisted.

"Frankly, I do not know the price. I'm counting on calling the shots when the bill is raised." She took one of the bowls in her hand. A yellow-brown powder had been ground in it. "At any rate, my senses are enormously expanded. I recognize smells that I did not know exist. I hear voices and sounds that should be beyond my reach. And I can sense motion before it's made. I knew you would be standing at my door even though you were still several steps away."

Without losing track of him, she set the bowl down again. "The making at the heart of the world is no longer an idea for me. It's not just a concept to help Grisha students gain grip on their first spells. It's a part of me, of you ... of everything that surrounds us." She made a circling hand gesture. "Juris opened this door for me, and when we united I went through it. The world is rooted in me and I am rooted in it. All imaginable dimensions are within reach for me, attainable, possibly even manipulatable. Including..."

"... time," Nikolai concluded.

Zoya nodded.

Nikolai lifted his shoulders carefree. "This is nothing new. Powerful Grisha age more slowly and live longer."

"I'll still be the way I am today, when your grandchildren and great-grandchildren are already dust and ashes."

"If that means I'm going to have children and grandchildren, that's totally fine for me. You know, they will be wonderful, if a little cheeky. All the more important that you have the authorization to protect Ravka signed in your pocket. Who else...?"

"Nikolai!" Zoya snapped angrily at him. "Do you even hear what I say?" Grimly, she stepped around the workbench and headed toward him.

"I hear you very well, dearest Zoya." Nikolai put the antler-like construct down on the workbench.

"Why do I doubt that?" A kaleidoscope of contradictory emotions flew across her face, which stung Nikolai more than anything. "Nikolai, I don't want that kind of responsibility. It's all yours. You're the one touching the hearts of the people of Ravka. They follow _you_! They trust in you, because your heartbeat is the pulse of our nation – and not the one of a witch who ages as slowly as... the Darkling."

"Oh, Zoya." Nikolai could not help it he clasped her hands. "My strong, tough, unyielding General Nazyalensky. There is nothing, which you cannot accomplish. If you want to win the trust and the hearts of Ravka, then you will succeed, as you succeed in everything you put in your pretty head. Who else would have challenged Sankta Elizaveta at the Shadow Fold? Besides... you're not like _him_, not even remotely. Because..." gently he raised his hand until it was at the height of her heart right above her chest, "_you_'ve got a wonderful heart beating where _he_'s got desolation and darkness buried within." Their eyes met as his fingers felt her heartbeat, throbbing and full of excitement.

Unexpected warmth passed through him, creating a lump in his throat. Reflexively, he dropped his hand. _This will lead nowhere,_ he thought with a mixture of guilt and regret.

Quickly, he added: "Speaking of darkness... I'm afraid a small portion of that kind of darkness has already slipped into this room."

_**(to be continued)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Dear readers,**_

_**this is the final chapter of my mini-fanfic "The Making at the Heart of the World".**_

_**As you may have noticed, I assumed that Nikolai hadn't told Zoya about the fragment of darkness still present in him. There is no such scene in King of Scars, though it appears as if Zoya was aware of it when the Darkling's return was revealed to Nikolai's inner circle.**_

_**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this little story.**_

**Cheers**

**Saarkind**

* * *

Zoya's eyelids flickered, the corners of her mouth twitching in confusion. Slowly she shook her head, the stubborn strand of hair dancing over her temple again. Nikolai felt an itch in his fingers to catch it and put it back behind her ear.

Meanwhile, her gaze turned into steel, making Nikolai believe his guts got turned upside down. "You're kidding, right?" she said.

"You think I'd joke on this matter?"

All expression froze on her face. "Say this is not true, Nikolai. We expelled that fraction of darkness from you. How else could the Darkling's spectre have entered Yuri's body? You must be... wrong!" She stepped toward him, reaching for his hands.

He evaded her. "No, Zoya. I'm not wrong. Elizaveta's ritual awakened the demon in me for the Darkling to enter my body. But when I did not follow suit and faced the monster, the Darkling slipped into the body of his believer Yuri just before his old body got burned for good."

"That part I know perfectly well," Zoya hissed angrily. "You don't tell me anything new. But his fragment..."

"It did not join him but stayed in me." Nikolai inhaled deeply, only to give her a long sigh. "Significantly weakened but present nonetheless. I can feel it, even now."

Deep furrows appeared on Zoya's forehead. Distraught, she bit into her crooked index finger like an uncertain novice. "O Saints, Nikolai!" She closed her eyes and re-opened them. "_That_ is why you kept me from burning Yuri's body before the Darkling could take full control. You hope that the Starless One will revoke the curse he put on you."

Nikolai nodded.

"You should have told me!"

"I know," he agreed ruefully. Suddenly the tips of his polished boots seemed more interesting than Zoya's anger.

"Why?" she asked.

Was he wrong or was there a tremor in her voice? Still – he could not answer her question and did not want it either.

"Nikolai, please. Talk to me. Why didn't you tell me?" A worried expression crossed her face. "Don't you trust me anymore?"

Startled, Nikolai looked up. The pain in her voice was palpable. Damned! He did not intend to hurt her. Cold sweat emanated on his forehead. "You know I fear neither storm nor war. Yet the thought that you'd turn away scared the heck out of me," he began in a hoarse voice. "It's ridiculous and cowardly ... but the idea of how you would react to the news that our efforts were in vain, while at the same time allowing the Darkling back into existence..."

"Nikolai!" she interrupted him. This time he let her grab his hands. Her palms were both warm and cold. "Look at me! Why are you men such fools?" She pulled him closer until his cheek suddenly lay on her shoulder. She ran her hand through his hair, as if to dispel the fear of the thunderstorm from a little boy. "I would never let you down. You are Ravka. You are..." Her voice faltered, sounding strangely flat. "I'd rather give my life."

Nikolai jumped. In a flash, he experienced a moment of terror in which Zoya lay dead at his fee, so that he could continue to live his life as a king. At the same time, her hand seemed to burn on his cheek, much warmer than deemed appropriate between a king and his Grisha.

With a jolt, he broke away from her grasp. "I won't let this happen!" Vigorously he straightened his jacket. "You are my general. The very best, I may add. And I am not known for squandering my subordinates as cannon fodder. Besides, think hard... Who else should check my edicts and eradicate my spelling mistakes before Ravka's crown is put to shame?"

She made a face as if she had bitten on an unripe lemon. "Soon, somebody else will do these things for you." Her voice was tentative as if she was afraid of hearing herself speak.

"Wait a second!" His thoughts became a blur. Defensively he lifted a hand. "I am not eager to hold hands with a woman who cannot distinguish gallows humor from a veritable insult. And I won't list the names of all the people who have repeatedly urged me to marry and father an heir so that Ravka's succession to the throne is secure."

"I know very well that I have sung this song many times myself. Thanks for the reminder, your Highness. But right now I can't listen to this song anymore."

"Then play another song for me, Nazyalensky."

Zoya looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You don't understand anything, do you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, Nikolai. Absolutely nothing."

She started to turn around. He beat her to it and grabbed her arm.

Zoya whirled around. "Let go!"

For a moment Nikolai expected her to slap him in the face, her eyes glowed that angrily. The way her fingers twitched, he was not even sure if that thought did not cross her mind. Instead of a hurricane a pained expression appeared. Her lips moved as if to say something, yet her shoulders sagged and the words remained unspoken.

The sting that ran through Nikolai's guts was unlike any pain he had ever experienced. Worst of all, however, was the helplessness he felt at the same time.

"Hey," he said cautiously, if only to end this gruelling silence between them. He let go of her arm and, without thinking, put his finger under her chin. He slowly raised it to make her look him in the eye. "We could come up with a song together."

A sound, like that of a shot puppy, escaped Zoya's mouth. A peculiar glow came into her eyes. She raised her hand and put it on his cheek.

"I'm a terrible composer," she said in a hushed voice. "But maybe if you gave a hand...?"

"Zoya," he started.

"Wait." A faint smile played on her mouth before it was expelled by a grimmer expression. "I have to warn you. I will not let the melody tear my heart to pieces."

"If it comes to that I'll shred my own heart right away," Nikolai blurted out. "I am not called the king of scars for nothing."

"So, what will I be?" she whispered. "Another scar?"

"No," he replied breathlessly.

He wanted to slap himself, because he had taken so long to understand what was happening between them. _Is this a dream or is it for real?_ For a brief moment, the memory of her last conversation before Elizaveta's ritual flew through his mind – his desperate desire to pull Zoya into his arms before there was no opportunity to do so.

"Now, this is going to be pathetic," he lifted her hand from his cheek, enclosing it firmly with his, "but you are the reason to bear any scars with ease," he proclaimed, solemn sincerity in his voice. "You are the shoulder I seek to lean on. You are the hand I will take hold of if one us is threatened of drowning, and you are the woman next to whom I want to wake up in the morning."

"No jewels?"

"All the jewels in this world."

"Don't make any promises you can't keep."

"I rely on my love to make up for that."

A priceless expression jumped on her face. "You really mean what you just said, don't you?"

"You doubt me?"

"That's a little bit much all at once." The glimmer in her eyes turned into a scatter of tears. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to stomach this. First the Darkling, then your demon, your marriage... and now this!"

"If someone is able to cope with such frills and furbelows then you, beautiful Zoya. And if not, I'll do it for both of us." He pulled her hand close and started to kiss her fingertips. "My ability to impose burdens on myself is unrivalled and this burden I gladly accept. I only wished..."

"Don't say it." Without warning, her free hand clawed at his shirt. The air around them swirled. "Whatever you intend to say, we'll walk this road together... no matter where the wind is going to take us." Spawns of Zoya's magical element danced over their heads. "And no matter what I pretend or how often I deny it to myself: I'm afraid I've long fallen in love with you, King Nikolai. What a mess. That's what had to happen to me, of all people." Her laughter sounded desperate. "Forgive me."

"Silly girl," he mumbled, as he kept covering her fingers with kisses. He only took a break to wipe a tear from her face. "Who lets herself fall in love with a king full of scars?"

"Only a woman who has at least as many scars."

Nikolai sensed that she did not just relate to the scars from the white tiger on her back, which had been the price she had paid when she had gained her first amplifier. He took another wipe at her tears, which resulted in her pulling him close.

"Stop worrying about these stupid tears. They are tears of joy, idiot!"

Nikolai laughed. And in the wake of his laughter, along with the wind that rushed through these old chambers, all barriers that had separated them came crushing down.

Before he knew, his mouth tasted her lips, his arm was lying around her shoulders and her hands were busy digging through his hair. He heard her calling out his name, heard himself panting hers. Their bodies searched for and found each other and from there it was one long dance of passion, desire and desperation. They clung to each other like two people fearing that their good fortunes were not meant to last, and who savoured a moment of time never to be repeated. Zoya opened herself up in ways never imaginable for Nikolai; he gave everything in return as far as he was physically capable. Her passion fuelled him, her heat took him to the edge. Her screams of delight were music to his ears, the peak of his desire was like a gush of a flood long kept at bay. The air between them was burning, the wind that coursed through the room, raising documents and blowing out candles, was like a cloak shielding them from the universe outside. The wind's force rattled him, tore at every fibre of his being, he even sensed the Dragon spreading his wings – yet, Zoya and the passion they shared was more to him than any saint or any life-saving anchor.

As her moans turned into blissful purrs, followed by exhausted silence, Nikolai took a bath in every move of her body and all the heat still radiating from her. He inhaled her scent, tasted the sweat on her skin, regarded her with unbelieving happiness. Her long hair had come lose, crowning her beauty with cascades of black gold. Her eyes were closed, her breast rose and fell to the beat of satisfied fatigue. Carefully, Nikolai shifted the weight of his body from her pelvis to his forearms and legs. One moment later, Zoya's eyes fluttered open.

"Stay with me."

"No power in the world could separate me from you, my love," he replied softly.

She smiled and pulled him close again. "I want to feel you, making me believe it would last forever."

"I know. I feel the same." Now it was Nikolai's turn to close his eyes.

"Don't look away. Come back to me," she said. "You cannot hurt me."

_But what if I did?_

He did not intend to but his thoughts drifted off to the night at Balakirev when the demon had taken possession of him and almost shredded Zoya to pieces. _What, if this happened again? What, if I could not prevent the worst?_ He would not be able to survive that. Nikolai could not help but listen into his body though he was scared to his bones what he would find there. The demon, ever waiting for his chance to rise again.

But to his utmost surprise he found... nothing, not even the tiniest spark of the monster within. It was as if it had taken a leave of absence. It was as if it had never existed.

Nikolai's eyes widened. "Zoya...!"

She looked at him with knowledge, wonder and love in her eyes. "I know... And right now I'm extremely happy."

"That's impossible!"

"Wrong, just very improbable." Her facial expression was one of consummate peace. "Please, believe me, I never planned this. But the door stood wide open... and if you cross the border on the strength of love..."

_... the making at the heart of the world will see to the rest,_ he concluded silently in his mind.

Only now did Nikolai realize what Zoya's remarks on this matter meant. Indeed, ever since the Shadow Fold all ways of creation were open to her. Stunned, he looked at her, drowning in those mysterious eyes that sparkled like the most precious sapphires. Head over heels, he had fallen in love with this woman, of all people. And amazingly, this woman, who had just opened up to him the depths of both her power and her being, seemed to be in love with him. Whatever fate had in store for them, it better watched out.

From this day, they were as one... And if such a miracle was possible, all the other miracles were simply a matter of time.

**_\- End -_**


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